Suddenly it was over. I woke up at 5am in my own bed, in my own apartment, surrounded by my own furniture. Today is the last day of my adventure, tomorrow I’ll start working again.

I’m getting up, I can’t sleep anymore. My head started spinning from the moment I opened my eyes. When I sit down on my own couch, I’m looking at my own table in the living room and suddenly a book caches my attention. Its title is “A geek in Japan”. Without even thinking about any consequences I’m lifting it up, opening it and just staring at the pictures. I see a lot of black haired men and women – Japanese.

A geek in Japan

Now the reality is hitting me unexpected hard. It. Is. Over. I start crying, thinking about all those unique moments I had within the last year when I was traveling through this wonderful world. All those people I met, those friendships I made, those families I met and how much I was laughing and smiling during the entire year. It’s been truly one of the happiest times within my life.

Gruppenselfie

Here I am now. I returned to my home already some weeks ago, but so far I didn’t manage to find a daily routine. I sleep in, like I did during this year. However I start meeting the same friends over and over again. I start listening to the same stories, the same thoughts, the same problems. Like nothing changed.

But, didn’t I change?

On the surface I’m still the same person. I keep on talking the same way, joking around like nothing changed. But underneath the surface I feel different. Like a circle in the world of a square. Somehow I can still make myself match into this world but it’s not entirely mine anymore. I want to escape, continuing to discover the world, meeting new people, listening to new stories and thoughts.

An dieser Stelle ging es an drei Seiten gerade nach unten

But I won’t do it! Before I started to leave for my journey I told myself to not leave anything behind. Not escaping from any problems was one of my major goals. And back then I did a great job in achieving it. I left everything clear and tidy which made it easier to travel and not getting cursed by anything in the end.

That’s still the same goal for me right now. I could easily just leave again and feel the thrill of adventure. But I would just escape and leave my troubles behind.

I’m drying my tears and start thinking how I could possibly get back to a state in which I feel happy in my own life again. The thought of a solution keeps my head busy. I already feel much better by not focusing on what I left behind but on what will be next. Suddenly I realized that I found the solution by just thinking about a solution: I need something I can do.

Wer sagt denn sowas? Lustige Streetart überall

I need a project which keeps me busy and happy. Something I can put all my effort and passion into it. Before I left for my journey I thought about it and planed it for already two years. Now I’m sitting here and having nothing to think about and plan. I’m getting up, walking through my own apartment, sitting on my own desk and start writing…